graduation.explanation

May 23, 2009

Biola University

Metzger Lawn

I graduated.  

I'm kind of struggling with being super excited about it all.  It was a fun day, but the future that follows this day is very scary.  I'm in the process of submitting resumes and filling out applications.  I find myself wanting to say, 'In Conclusion. . . [and then something profound]' regarding my time at Biola but I know it's just not that simple.  I wish I could sum up all that I learned in a few simple sentences for the people who ask, 'How was college?'  I wish I could smile big and say it was great and I can't wait to walk into the future with my BA, but honestly, this is so difficult.  

I'm thinking about my time at Biola a lot these days.  It was so much fun.  I did so many HUGE things there.  I grew and changed and developed and walked closely with God.  I really accomplished all of the things that I set out to accomplish on August 23, 2005.  I'm very excited about all of the people I've loved and all of the things we did together.  I love them all so, so much.  The thing that God has been speaking to me about lately, in the midst of the challenge, is that I've grown in love during these past four years.  Even though at times my heart has broken, with each breaking came a new capacity for compassion.  Every struggle in relationships with my girls gave me a greater ability to love and serve them.  Each tear I cried for my friends has allowed me to pray more powerfully for them.  

So these are my people.  You've seen their pictures before, but now I'm going to tell you about them and how special they all are to me.  I'm praying that God increase the knowledge and understanding He's given me through these people and give me more people to love and more compassion to serve them.  

My dear Kindra.  

Here's a picture of Kindra during the procession.  We were sitting near each other during the ceremony.  Kindra and I met during our freshmen year because we lived on the same floor.  She lived all the way at the other end of the floor, so we didn't talk or hang out much until we both applied to be on Missions Conference staff.  Sophomore year, we experienced God in a very powerful way during an outpouring of the Holy Spirit that God sent over Biola for a few weeks.  I can remember being so scared and also curious about what God was doing.  It was all so new, but I knew that God was real and that it truly was His Spirit that was causing all of these weird things to happen.  That weekend was one of the  most foundational weekends for the growth and change in my life during my entire time at Biola.  I think Kindra would say the same.  We worshipped together for hours on end and our friendship deepened during that time.  

Junior year, Kindra went to China and our friendship grew even deeper after her return.  We had both had very challenging experiences in China and understood each other's experience with culture shock and were able to share together in much of the healing process regarding our experiences.  

So many other crazy things have happened.  We've been through it all together.  Laughing, crying, yelling, being naughty, pulling pranks, praying for people, cooking, then eating, more laughing, and watching Friends.  Kindra will be a friend for LIFE!  

K.  I love you.  

Kindra is going to spend the next semester doing her student teaching with second graders in Hacienda Heights.  Then teaching English in China??  ;)

Jordan Brooks was also a huge part of my growth in Jesus during my time at Biola. I remember that he once told me that I should come to his older brother's house (Nate, who is now a good friend of mine too) because there was going to be a prophet there.  Looking back, I chuckle knowing that 'prophet' was Bobby, who I later got to know and love.  I was curious and went with him to 'The Beehive' near Biola.  That was the first time I ever really experienced the Presence of God and understood it to be that.  It changed me.  

I have memories of Jordan and I chaperoning many different 'interested' couples.  We somehow always found ourselves as the pair who would tag along with the interested two.  We've had some good laughs about that.  I've visited his family in Iowa over Christmas break a few years ago and have enjoyed spending hours with him and his brother doing crazy stuff.  

Jordan is transferring to Wheaton next semester.  Good luck, Brother!  

Kyle Compaan.  I don't even know what to say about Kyle.  He's wonderful.  

When I first started working in SMU, he was the president of the organization.  I can remember my boss telling me to have respect for him and to revere him because of his presidential status.  I'm still not sure if she was serious but I remember disregarding that instruction when he walked out of his office a few minutes later, picked up a bag of hamburger buns and hit Thomas [one of our other good friends] across the side of the head with it.  Thomas responded by picking up a second bag of buns and thus ensued the hamburger bun wars in the office.  

Kyle is always someone I can be real with.  He loves music and he's taught me so much about leading worship and playing guitar.  He's been patient so many times when I expressed frustration about many different topics.  He's been a wonderful brother and friend and we've shared many wonderful times together.  I'll miss eating and drinking with him.  

This is Dr. Pittle.  This man is nearly single-handedly responsible for my love of anthropology.  He's brilliant and he always challenged me to think bigger and better than I ever had before.  He empowered me to be creative and deep in my pursuit of anthropological truth.  He always made me feel like I knew something and that I had something to teach him.  He is the definition of a good teacher, empowering students to learn and be victorious in their pursuit of truth.  Also, his Jewish background brought different insights and understanding into the classroom.  I'll miss being his student.  Maybe someday my writings will be on his syllabus.  Or his will be on mine.  How exciting!

Oh these two.  Marshall Bang and Royce Santos.  Two of my favorite friends.  

There are so many stories to tell.  I love these guys both so much.  

We've had so many ups and downs.  I've walked with them through some difficult stuff.  I've seen miracles in their lives.  When I think of my friendship with them, I smile and giggle because God's love for them is so evident.  Also, we've had some of the craziest fun times together.  

I've been inspired by Marshall's love for music and for life.  I love to laugh with him.  I'm laughing just thinking about us laughing.  

And Royce.  We love to act like kids together.  We can just be free and funny together.  He's showed me so many new things and opened my heart to loving in new ways.  I appreciate Royce because I know that no matter what mood I'm in, either energetic and entertaining or grumpy and sour, he's cool to be there with me.  We love talking and eating and laughing and singing and dancing.  

And this is Kyle.  Kyle recently wrote a poem about our friendship.  It's perfect.  

God has taught me so much about being a friend through Kyle.  He was just a little freshman boy when I met him.  He was timid and uncertain about things that were going on around him.  We prayed and talked and I watched him grow.  Now he's a man.  He's leading hundreds of other students into walking deeper with Jesus.  He's seeing visions of the ways God desires to work on campus.  He's loving Biola's men and women towards living in purity and knowledge of their adoption as sons and daughters.  God is going to use him powerfully for the cause of the Kingdom.  

And the fam.  Such an integral part of this whole thing.  

They've supported me and challenged me to do well at Biola these last four years.  

Dad has often visited and I've loved our conversations over pizza or cheesecake or Korean food. . . which ever I happened to choose that evening.  I love that we can talk about difficult issues and that I can be completely honest with no fear of rejection or judgment.  Thanks Dad for listening and pouring into me.  Also, DRizz is pretty popular among Biola students.  My friends think he's cool and that it's super cool that my dad is the Controller of the World.  

Mom.  Thanks for talking to me while you're at Wal-Mart.  I have no idea how many times you probably stood in the shampoo isle and talked to me about all of the stuff I've experienced at school.  Either difficult or fun, you always listened and that's exactly what I needed!  Thanks also for faithfully praying for me during some of the busiest and most stressful times of my life.  Love you.  

T.  This guy has grown from being 14 to 18. . . I know. . . go figure.  BUT  that's a big change!!  He's not just my punky little bro anymore, but someone that I hope to get to know and to begin loving as an adult friend not the pest from 2001.  Tobin, God has HUGE things for your life.  Can't wait to have a front row seat to watch him do them all.  

Bj.  My curly sister.  You've grown up a lot too since I've been gone.  Last night you told me that you never imagined that my four years in college would go by so fast.  I'm super surprised too!  You bring me joy and make me laugh a lot.  You're like the perfect 8 year old sister.  

Jillian Grace.  You're becoming a woman.  I'm glad that I'm going to be at home for a while to watch you learn and grow in becoming a woman.  Beauty and grace are naturally yours and your humor is amazing.  I love you and can't wait to share the next few years with you.  

And the landlords.  Aka Gram and Grandfather.  

These two have been my support for the last two years.  Besides the laundry and the dinners, I've enjoyed their encouragement and involvement in my Biola life.  Many of my friends have enjoyed their hospitality. . . including a retreat with 25 of us who crashed all over the house.  Thanks WG & GF for including me in your lives through my times sharing with the Phileos and for letting me include you in mine.  Love you two.  

And the Pod.  

A friend, Micah, once told me that he and I were two peas in a pod.  Well, Bree didn't exactly think that I was allowed to be in a pod with Micah, so she declared that the only person I could be in a pod with was her.  Later Kindra joined, but the three of us are known as The Pod.  

Brianna.  I love you.  You've been a wonderful supporter of all my endeavors.  You've called me out on many of my mistakes while standing patiently by waiting for me to make the right choices.  We've been crazy together. . . especially during finals week.  We've laughed and cried together.  We have changed people's worlds together.  We've touched the lives of the women who will follow us in ministry on campus.  We've pursued the heart of the Father and our relationships with our Lover.  We know each other.  We're different.  I can't even say enough about how much I love you and how much you mean to me.  

These are the two that I will miss most.  These are the two that it's been the hardest to leave.  But these are the two that will be given to me as friends forever.  People always say that you make life-long friends in college.  Welp. . . it's true.  These are them.  Thanks Jesus.