oh. . . seattle

I've returned to my beautiful pacific northwest!  LA and NYC are definitely two contrasting places from here.  It's a breath of fresh air.  Hopefully my parents will stay here for the rest of their lives so I can come and visit them for summers and winters.  Mountains and lakes and cities. . . they're all here.  Good coffee, good food, it's all so

 fascinating and wonderful.  I think colors are brighter here.  

I arrived on Monday night and on Tuesday morning my friend Matt showed up.  He had been here in the northwest, specifically on Fox Island for a solitude retreat lasting three weeks!  The last time I saw him in LA, he told me that he was leaving the next day and I remember gasping and saying, "you leave tomorrow never to be seen again. . . until I see you in Seattle in three weeks!"  It sounded so special to be the first one to see him after all that time!  And it was.  I was the first to truly hear all that he had prayed through and all that he had discovered during his time alone.  He is working on his Master of Divinity at Talbot with an emphasis in Spiritual Formation.  I'm not exactly sure what that means, but to my understanding it's like he's learning how to be a counselor for your spiritual life.  You might visit a therapist and discuss family issues or issues in relationships and communication, but if you want to talk about your spiritual life and what your relationship with God looks like then you can talk with Matt.  That is after he finishes this program.  So, as a requirement for the program he had to come up here to Fox Island and spend three weeks alone.  He saw a counselor once a day to talk through the issues that the Lord was bringing up and then spent the rest of the time doing psychological/spiritual exercises and journaling.  

The Lord brought him to several points of restoration and realization within himself.  He and I spent hours together talking about these during our days together.  He described to me a well.  The well represented him and, while we talked, it also represented me.  It's a well of all that I think I am and all that I think I can offer to God.  I walk over to the edge and peer over.  It's completely empty.  But I stand there none-the-less.  I'm used to standing there.  It's comforting to see my own well, even though it's empty.  There's a little hope that someday there might be something in it. . . I think that's why I keep standing there.  But total surrender to the Lord and an embrace of all that He sees me as requires me to turn around and walk away from the well.  I need to forget that it's there and move on with my life in total abandonment.  

Matt didn't know how to explain to me what that meant.  He only knew that he could only lean on the Lord for each breath.  This dependency isn't the way that we always talk about it as Christians, but it's really putting each minute in the hands of the Lord, totally dependent on Him for an answer.  

Matt made me think.  He made me consider my life with the Lord like I never had before.  I thought about the places in my life that I need to abandon.  I am asking what the things in my heart are that I love more than I love the Lord.  What are the things that have become like a child's blankie to me that I cannot leave where I am or have peace without knowing that it's right there.  The Lord has already brought several things to mind for me, as I am sure He will for the rest of my life.  It's the maturation process.  I pray that it will be swift for me.  

Here are some pictures from our few days together. . .

Mmm... beautiful coffee!

The largeness of the water meeting the sky will never cease to take my breath away.  

The sun on the skyline from Lake Union.