10 from 2010 continued

I was reminded last night that I have yet to finish the list of the things I've learned in 2010. I've had a draft sitting in a blank notebook here on my iPod but just haven't found the time to update it.

PLUS... I moved out my parents house a week or so ago and my roommates and I have yet to have out Internet installed so I haven't had access to normal things like Facebook and email outside of work which (shocker) has been very disorienting. anyway I'm on the train right now so I'm goi to seize this opportunity to continue this very important post.

and just so you're aware, I'm bored of this blog so I'm considering a makeover... but that'll come later.

in 2010 I've figured some stuff out....

6. continuing where I left off last time, I feel hat this post is especially significant to me because my sixth lesson learned in 2010 is reflection. I've always been a fairly goal oriented person, often thinking hours and days and years into he future. but I always fall short when it comes to assessing my achievements. I usually move onto the next goal, the next excitement, the next project but I hardly allow myself the luxury of reflection. I think I scares me. what if I didn't do all that I had set out to do? what I in the end I feel as though I've failed? it's scary!! assessment is not easy. George has coached me in this a lot during our 1 on 1 meetings and what I've come to understand is that without assessment, even if you feel like you failed, you will never feel like you've won either. so rather than success and failure, we use the words wins and challenges. it's a little watered down, but I think it's a gospel centered approach to looking at life. I believe that Jesus already died for all my failures! and he doesn't require me to be successful as a child of his because he already won the battle. his reputation is already set I'm stone. his plan can't be screwed up. but what I can do is to partake in the celebration of his victory which plays out in my life day to day and year to year. and I do believe he has called me to take a hard look at his standards and strive to please him with honoring and seeking after them. that's where the challenges fit into the process. so as I enter 2011, this series of posts is particularly important because it's both forcing me to examine the last year and see the challenges ahead of me as well as giving me the freedom to rejoice in the victory of the kingdom in my life.

7. growing up costs a lot of money! I bought my own car this past year! it's crazy to be grown up. no one thought it was weird when I went to the bank and applied for a loan. the whole time I was expecting someone to say, "we don't approve car loans for little girls, honey." but I guess when you have a good job and a little credit they want you to apply for a loan! (and as a side note because it happened technically in 2011, I have officially paid off the whole loan as of one week ago!!!!)

8. I've learned that a song is just a clean canvas, ripe for creativity to take it and turn it into music. I've had the wonderful pleasure of spending this year collaborating with musicians diverse in both experience and talent. some love to play guitar and others prefer the ukelele. the two that have had the most profound effect on me are Trenton and Evan. both only sophomores in high school, they have taught me more in this one year and challenged me beyond what I thought I could manage and experience that it amazes me. together we have wrestled with worship. we have found that it dwells in the hearts and minds of God's people and that it's hard to draw it out sometimes. they've been a beautiful energy added to challenging church plant situation. they are an example of freedom and joy to me every week at our rehearsals and at church on Sunday. they are always challenging me to do things that I've never done before (like play electric guitar). never satisfied with mediocrity, they spur me on to higher levels of creativity, harder practice, greater capacity in leadership, more patience in friendship, and more love for people around me. they are the most unexpected answer to prayer I've ever experienced.
this past week at rehearsal we played one of our favorite arrangements, Yahweh by Shawn McDonald (our arrangement inspired by Arcade Fire's song Rebellion) and the words are simply this, "you alone are worthy of all that I am. beautiful is your name, wonderful is your name. you alone are worthy of all that I am" and all I could do as I sang my heart out to Jesus was think that only he is worthy of these young hearts. only he is worthy of their creativity, of their loud amps and drums, of the joy they express when we nail a Sunday service, of their insightful questions, of their faithful dedication, and of their worship.

9. I'm going to cheat a little bit and say the number 9 is something I've learned that I need to learn. working at Russell has been a huge part of this year. I have learned so much about being in the workplace. I've almost converted into a morning person... almost. but I've learned that I need to start learning more about our industry. it's such a part of the daily lives of people in our culture and yet we don't even know how it affects us. the financial industry, the economy, the political issues in the world, they are all intertwined and they all affect our lives daily. my goal for 2011... and one of the challenges i've identifies is that I need to stretch my brain and learn more. maybe a part of my blog makeover will be a financial industries for dummies column. might be fun.

10. I plan on saying this every year of my life, but I really have to finish by saying that I've gotten a tiny glimpse more into the heart of Jesus for me, the heart of Jesus for his people, for my community in Puyallup, for the northwest, for the world. it's exciting to think of the possibilities of the discovery of more of that. more Jesus, more experiencing his love, more learning to worship in his presence, more seeking his face, more desiring his kingdom come, more seeing him do all sorts of cool stuff. bring it 2011, Jesus is going to blow us all away AGAIN!!